30 Days of Truth: Day 1: What I Dislike About Myself
The real title includes hate, not dislike. Hate is a very powerful word that is reserved for those that do not know a better way to express themselves. I know someone that hates, but that’s for another time. That being said, I dislike that I am too trusting of people, especially as it relates to “family,” and that I allow myself to get so wrapped up in issues dealing with those trust issues, I get extremely tired. Family members can disappoint us or let us down, but there should always be honesty. Honesty is the foundation of trust. There is one person in particular, my sister-in-law, who likes to float in and out of our lives. Every time I think we are just about to resolve some issues, she yanks it away. Kind of like she’s toying with me. I always trust that she really wants to reconcile. Why am I like this? Because I want it to be true. I do not like when people lie to me. I have been told I am blunt. I do not look at being honest and trusting as blunt. I just want to believe in people, that they all have good intentions. I trust that they do. Often, I find my trust gets broken. With her, however, it has never been there, as far back as when hubs and I started dating. So, I do not understand why I would even WANT a relationship with her. However, I want to trust her when she says she has changed. Well, she is holding a grudge, about what, I do not know. Why do I put myself through this?? I have learned, faster than with her, that “friends” can be untrustworthy, and I easily part ways. Why is “family” so different? I need to work on NOT getting worked up since I can only deal with myself. They (and she) will always be the same unless something drastic happens to make them want to change. I don’t know that I need to trust less as I need to protect myself more. I’d still rather look for the positive in people.
